It is hard to believe that Christmas is but three weeks away, and yet the towns and cities are full of Christmas lights and music. I love how retailers dress their shop windows and display their Christmas stock. Children and teachers are frantically preparing  concerts full of angels and shepherds and Mary and Joseph’s, and a baby Jesus has to be found, to sing Away In A Manger ! Fitting in elves and reindeer and stars and all kinds of magical themes, and the man himself, Santa, always finds a place on the stage. For proud parents and grans and grand-dads aunties and uncles these essential events form part of our Christmas tradition of acknowledging how wonderful and talented and precious our children are to us

It is a time to reminisce, to reflect and  remember our own childhood Christmas’s  both good and bad. Family reunions and tensions, excitement and disappointments. Indeed how much of our own past comes into play in our present life experience?

For some of us there is a sting, a pang, a heart ache, and it is for them I write this blog today. I love Christmas, but not every Christmas has been a happy one. So today I want to reach out to those who are not in a good place, who are in some form of emotional pain. Maybe you have lost a loved one, and the thoughts of facing into a Christmas without them is almost unimaginable, and yet sadly that is your reality.

Maybe you have separated and are in the throws of mediation or legal issues. Wondering where do I go now, home is not what it was. Or maybe your partner is abusing you and Christmas last year was not good, and the dread of this one is almost too much to bear ?

Sometimes all the Christmas cheer seems like another world and your reality may be very different. But you can change it, you do have choices. You may not see them right now but you do. By taking that first step calling a friend or family member whom you trust, to talk to is a beginning, share your pain. Let this Christmas be your turning point.

Talking through your issues helps to ease the pain of grief after a loss. Expressing how we feel allows us to think more clearly, so we can make good and right choices for ourselves. It breaks the isolation and gives us the opportunity to identify the changes that need to be made. Taking time to look at how our past is affecting how we live in the present, we can then create choices for ourselves on how we want to be in our world.

As a professional counselor I not only have the life experience, but am also trained to hear and help you work through your problems.

Alve